- 50 Years Ago Today… June 6, 2017
This post marks a milestone in my life and describes part of my journey from head to heart.
On June 6th, 1967, exactly 50 years ago today, I started a job as a computer operator trainee. On my second day on the job, my boss handed me a COBOL manual and said, “Learn it. As soon as you write your first program, I will give you a $10 per week raise.” I got the raise two weeks later and have been writing computer programs ever since.
In the half century since then, I have watched the computer industry grow up. I have worked on all of these computers:
I have written code in many languages and probably forgotten more languages than most programmers will ever learn. I have written many millions of lines of code; but who really cares? How many lives have I really touched as a programmer?
About 25 years ago, I discovered that I also had a heart and that my heart was much more interesting than my head. I dove into personal growth work. At one point, I decided I wanted to turn my back on programming and become a personal coach. My wife, Donna talked me out of that, but I still felt an increasing passion to help people who were (like me) stuck in their heads.
In 2001, I did the Mankind Project’s New Warrior Training Adventure, an intense weekend experience that helped me see what my life might look like if I could live more openly in my heart. In the 16 years since that training, I have returned to participate as a staff member over 40 times. I have led over 25 Primary Integration Training events (We call them PIT’s) and I have done considerable growing up.
What I have learned in the past 25 years would probably fill a few books, but one of my big Ah-ha moments was when I realized how poorly most of us connect… with ourselves and with each other. I learned that the path to connection started with a cartoon character called Pogo who looked into the mirror and realized that his most challenging enemy was himself.
This same message was echoed in the final lines of the movie Platoon when Chris Taylor (played by Charlie Sheen) said, “I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves.”
Looking inward is the first step in waking up, and waking up must happen before we can fully grow up and become emotionally mature. And finally, we can show up in our magnificence when we know and accept ourselves exactly as we are and can accept you just the way you are without judging you.
These three concepts, Waking Up, Growing Up and Showing Up form the heart of the ConneXions Intensive Workshop which I teach along with several other wonderful and amazing people.
- Free Assessments – Use With Caution April 27, 2017
Want to know your IQ or how emotionally mature you are in just a few minutes?
I have added a new page that contains links to various types of free assessments that will help you know yourself better. The page is http://connexions.world/assessments/.
From Archetypes to Shadow Assessments, all of these are free. Some will take you 20 to 30 minutes to take and some you can complete in under five minutes.
Caution: Don’t believe the answers from any one test. I took three different Enneagram assessments and came up with three different answers. So be skeptical, but also be curious.
Ultimately, knowing yourself is an inside job. Taking an assessment is like pausing on your journey to check your map and see if where the map says you should be matches where you think you are. Here’s a simple example.
I took several Emotional Maturity assessments and learned that I could easily wrack up a perfect score because I could figure out what the “correct” answer was in just about every case. However, knowing the best answer and knowing what is really true for me may be different. When taking some of these assessments, I have learned that my tendency to want to look good may get in the way of seeing clearly into my own shadows. Consider this when you take these assessments.
- Taking a Hit September 23, 2013
In September, 2013, I staffed my 33rd NWTA weekend. I am considered a senior staffer, one who knows the weekend quite well. I was asked by the weekend leader to step onto the leader track for the weekend because he didn’t think there were enough experienced men. I have staffed with this leader before and it worked quite well, so I stepped on as a leader in training (LIT)… for this weekend only. Continue reading →